I was going to do a Freshman Year vs Senior Year Makeup and I had taken all the pictures for it, yet I feel no motivation to post it. I wrote this long story of how I’ve changed throughout High School when I realized I just want to post this. I just want you to see a little piece of me and who I am.
This is a Beauty Blog and I apologize if you wanted to see something about makeup or skincare, I give you free rain to complain in the comments below, but I think I need this. If you want to hear more about how I’ve changed in high school keep on reading. If you want to see the picture of my makeup between then and now I will post it on Instagram.
It is crazy how quickly you can change in three years. Throughout each year in high school I have developed into a completely different person. It is crazy how many life changing events I have had in such a short time.
When I was in my freshman year I was not very liked. At all. I was that annoying Freshman who thought all the other Freshman were stupid. Now I know that list should’ve included me.
I was very young and naive. I have a history of severe depression and tried to cure that by getting attention in all the wrong ways. I would work for hours for good money and ended up spending it on everyone but myself, yet that act wasn’t selfless.
I really just wanted to be loved. I had no friends and all I wanted was someone to want me, yet I was trying to obtain that not from showing people how great a person I was but with money and my body. By my body I mean I would just throw affection at people in hopes of reciprocation, and it wasn’t how it should have been.
I was looking for somewhere to belong but I was lost.
But as I have gotten older I have matured over the years. I realized that before I could find others I had to find myself. How can you expect people to love you when you don’t even love you? So I made the necessary changes in order to be happy with who I am. I am in no way perfect.
I am worth it.
I made the decision to change as a person so I could look at myself and tell me that I am worth it. I am worth the frustration of dealing with my depression. I am worth giving attention too. I am worth the work of developing a relationship. And I know that because I did it with myself.
I worked through the frustration of dealing with my depression. I worked to give attention to myself. I worked to develop a relationship with who I really am.
I know I am worth it because I am willing to work for myself.
I know now that I don’t need someone else to tell me I am amazing because I already know I am. I don’t need anyone else to tell me I am pretty because I am beautiful. I don’t need someone to tell me who I am because I know who that person is.
And that is all a part of growing up.
~Have Fun Cosmetic Unicorns~